For reals, we need to work this out. Sit through five minutes of any Tarantino flick, and all the power words that you keep up in that special cabinet, locked away so that the casual guest does not stumble upon them, are rendered impotent. It's like we all collectively raised our tolerance a thousand percent. What are we going to break out on special occasions? I'm glad you asked. I happen to have a proposal.
I posit this: That we reconstruct our curses in such a way that they are actually curses again. A one-syllable dismissal is one thing, but perhaps less powerful than an actual, old school, voodoo gypsy thing, where we say what we want to happen, and invoke it. There's strength there, because once you call for an occurrence, the it will either (a) happen, or (b) not happen, but stick with the cursee. One way or another, you are awarded a victory more satisfying than the traditional "four-letter" technique can ever bring.
Try a couple of these out this week, and just see if they fit:
"I hope your shoes burst into flame, because then you will be running around with your shoes on fire and everyone will wonder what that smell is and then they will realize it's your shoes being on fire and they will laugh at the cretin whose shoes are on fire." (Adapted from my friend KK's suggestion.)
Or perhaps:
"May ill-timed roadwork stop traffic on your drive home, while the radio stations play nothing but AFI."
Ouch. The best thing is, you can work this stuff into the situations as needed. The one-size-fits-all cuss-out is dead. Long live the customized malediction.
